Heal Your Relationship. Heal the World.
This month, we’re diving into the big, beautiful, messy terrain of relationships — not just the visible dynamics, but the often hidden, essential ingredients that allow them to truly flourish. Whether it's with a partner, a friend, or yourself… the deeper we go into the heart of relationship, the more we see that our outer world is shaped by what lives inside.
One of the most powerful insights I’ve come to — through years of personal experience and guiding others — is this: your partner will mirror you. They will reflect all that you love and admire about yourself… and all that you reject, judge, or are unwilling to face.
It's natural to fall into the loop of believing that our partners or friends are the cause of our discomfort. I’ve certainly been there — collecting all the evidence, building a case, even recruiting others to confirm my version of reality. But this becomes a cycle of tag and blame, tag and blame. We pass the discomfort back and forth, never really landing in true connection or healing.
Do you recognize this pattern in your relationships?
Do you see it mirrored in the world around you?
Everywhere we look, we find a culture of blame — individuals, groups, entire nations pointing fingers instead of turning inward to reflect. Yes, many of us were handed challenging environments, painful stories, and tough beginnings. And still, we hold the power — in each moment — to respond differently.
My Story (Maybe Yours Too)
I’ve learned my biggest lessons through relationships. And for a long time, even with all my training and experience, I quietly believed that the problem was “over there” — with him. I would bring my partner into therapy and claim I was ready to take responsibility for my part (and to my credit, I truly wanted to)… but underneath it all was a quiet whisper: “He is the problem.”
I experienced betrayal, disconnection, and a painful lack of presence in many of my partnerships. And so I kept looking for the right one. The one who would finally make it all feel safe, real, and connected.
But here's the truth I uncovered after years of deep inner work:
The common thread in every relationship was me.
And the root of my repeating story? A buried, unconscious belief:
“I am bad.”
Yes, me — a loving, kind, generous human. And still, there it was: a quiet, inner monster I felt I had to keep hidden at all costs. It was made up of guilt. Shame. Disgust. These feelings and beliefs were born in the early years of life, before I even had words — and like so many of us, I forgot they were ever made up.
But that’s the thing. These unconscious beliefs drive our lives, especially our closest relationships, until we bring them into the light.
Without awareness, understanding, or compassion, they become the lens through which we see and judge not only ourselves but the people closest to us.
So what do we do with all this?
We turn inward.
We take responsibility — not for others' behavior, but for our inner landscape.
We get curious, instead of reactive.
We befriend the monsters we were once told to hide.
And from there — real intimacy becomes possible.
Reflection & Integration
Here are a few questions to explore this month. Let them stir you. Journal. Meditate. Bring them into your conversations.
- Where do I notice blame showing up in my relationships?
- What uncomfortable emotion am I trying to avoid when I blame another?
- What early belief about myself might still be running the show?
- When I think of a recent trigger or conflict, what might that person be mirroring back to me?
- What part of me have I been unwilling to love or accept?
- What would it look like to bring compassion to that part — today?
The world needs people who are willing to stop the cycle of projection and blame. People who choose presence over perfection. Who do the inner work so they can show up in love, truth, and connection.
Heal your relationship, and you really do heal the world.
With love,
Liv
If you’re currently in a relationship and you’re ready to make meaningful, lasting changes — to shift old patterns, deepen connection, and take true ownership of your experience — let’s talk. Sometimes, just one conversation can begin a powerful ripple.
